Probably need to change the title there to What's it Like For Me to be a Zen practioner.....
I was asked the other day what is was like to be a Zen practitioner. My answer had to be no different to being a non-Zen practitioner I guess. I do the same things. I have the same desires now as I had before I "met" Zen some 30+ years ago. In the beginning I thought that I would become all-knowing, all powerful, but that is not the case at all and most Zen practitioners I talk to have similar tales to tell.
Zen meditation (zazen) can be painful as I uncover more and more of the barriers that have been erected by my conditioned mind. Not that Zen is a method of changing that conditioning, it's more like a matter of choosing the way rather than having it chosen for me by society's "rules and regulations". I get to choose what the "right and wrong" of things in a natural way, rather than feeling them to be a "must".
Is to have desire is so wrong? Ah… No… I didn't say that. Buddha discovered that desire is the source of all suffering. To desire not to desire, is still desire. Nothing wrong in desire. Nothing right in desire. I do desire, and I am a witness to the karma of desiring as it unfolds. More to come on What's it Like to be a Zen Practitioner later… or not.