Today in zazen, came lots of thoughts - also known in Zen as makyo. But should I judge and condemn makyo? Should I condemn the thinking mind? I think to much.. Ah! Another judgement! A neat trap.. Or is that a judgement?
We take other people (and situations) into our awareness. This is so. Can't get away from that statement. We can know others from our own awareness.. That must be so, as we cannot know them from their awareness!
We see something that we cannot agree with. We condemn it. We are aware of that thing we cannot agree with, therefore it is bound to be within us! Another neat trap. We condemn our Self! The more we judge as liking this, disliking that, attracted to this, repelled by that, the more disintegrated we become. Whether it is good or whether it is bad, makes no difference.
Zazen then, is the task of reconnected with those disintegrated parts of our Self (or self, there are some who say that Self should not be capitalized - just more judgement, just more makyo to get stuck in - but I don't care what they say - I forgive them! Do I really? ). We reconnect to our fragments by forgiveness of Self which is forgiveness of others.
I think of all the incidents in my life when I must have judged and condemned in my mind. There are loads! I probably think too much, I say again! We walk along the Zen path (or some other labelled path) and we come to a space, to a situation, to the memory of a person, to.... whatever.... We are not happy with it, and we want to forgive for our own sakes, but we don't know how to do it. We cannot do it! Of course we can't do it.. Because it isn't doing.. It is being. Being forgiving. We can only be willing, and then go within and wait in patience for the experience of forgiveness to come to us. Or if you prefer, the experience of closure; or the experience of completion. If not, another part of us, greater or smaller, will get stuck in this space on our journey. And we may find ourselves running around and around in this space. It could be temporary, but it can last... How long? I don't know.. Best not to add another judgement! How long is a piece of Zen string?