How it is safe to be "part of the herd". Because I 'understand' Zen, doesn't mean that I am not subject to conditioning. Because I have glimpsed no-mind, doesn't mean that I am not subject to conditioning. It serves no purpose trying to "get better". Experiencing is not subject to conditioning. The experience itself maybe a piece of conditioning, but the experiencing is the context of all experiences. Just look at all responses and ascertain what is spontaneous and what is a reaction (conditioned response). Trust
Trust to take the leap of commitment, because once a commitment is taken, it is kept - else it would not be a commitment. Trust the process of experiencing. Respond accordingly and ascertain if such the response is a true authentic response or conditioned response. Just be aware. Do nothing, but watch and witness. Practice zazen. Look at life and see what self is reflected back. Don't believe! Know what you are watching, breathing into it.